As most of you know, during a football game last week Bob Costas lectured us po’ goofy Americans about the evils of a “gun culture” and how we need to evolve away from being obsessed with firearms. As soon as I heard that drivel roll off Mr. C’s tongue I ordered another 30/06, a sweet Walther PPK and a custom .416 Rigby turnbolt. Cowabunga, Bob. Thanks for reminding me to buy more guns.
First off, let me help you, Robert: Guns do not kill people. Dads with daughters do. Oh, and BTW, Planned Parenthood kills a lot of people … like real innocent babies … like the most vulnerable form of all humanity. Why don’t you piss and moan about PP, Roberto? What’s that I hear? Crickets? Yep, crickets from Costas on the evils of the abortion mills. I would’ve thought that crime would have made Bobby incensed. Oh, well.
Another thing I thought was weird was Bob launching into an anti-gun diatribe during a football game. A football game, BC? Look, I know he was trying to be relevant in his commentary as it related to Belcher’s murder/suicide, but whizzing on guns to a football crowd is like pooh-poohing pasta and red wine to Italians. You should have saved that lecture for a figure skating event where the male contestants are sashaying to Spandau Ballet, doing pirouettes and floating around in unitards with glitter in their hair. You could have come on during a gentle moment and said, “Don’t you think we have too many guns? You do? Me too.”
When it comes to the topic of self-defense I couldn’t give a flibbertigibbet what the heavily guarded Bob Costas says about my right to keep and bear as many firearms as I want. On such a serious topic, I take my cue from a high power. No, I’m not talking about Chuck Norris. I’m talking about Jesus Christ. Yes, what saith the second person of the godhead is what I want to know.
Now, when discussing what Christ would green light in regard to defending one’s self, it’s usually good to actually go to the gospels, read them and then draw conclusions. Here’s what I’ve gotten after scouring Scripture a few times:
1. In His earthly ministry, Jesus didn’t carry a weapon except the time when He took a whip (a whip! You gotta love it!) and drove the TBN clowns out of the temple. He didn’t chide them or write them a strong but tasteful e-mail asking them to please not do that kind of stuff in church.
What did the meek and mild Messiah do? He whipped them. I wonder if the Christ-is-a-pacifist-wuss Christian can picture sweet Jesus laying the leather to the backs of the marketers who were making His Father’s house a place of merchandise.
If Christ were to do that today He’d be thrown in prison, and 99.9% of churches in the USA wouldn’t have Him speak at their annual Hallelujah Aren’t We Fabulous conference because Jesus wouldn’t be behaving very “Christ-like.”
2. It’s clear from Scripture that Jesus didn’t need weapons because He had at His disposal an angelic host that could flatten armies. I unfortunately don’t have that capability.
Christ had supernatural protection, and His disciples carried swords. I, too, believe that God supernaturally protects me, to some degree, because I should have been dead a long time ago. However, should my guardian angel be napping or busy doing something else other than trying to keep up with my dumb ass, I’ll be okay because Smith & Wesson art with me as well.
3. Lastly, in Luke 22:36-38 Christ told His disciples, even though He personally did not pack a weapon, that they, in light of His departure, should get a deadly weapon—namely a sword. Check it out …
And he [Jesus] said to them [His disciples], “But now, whoever has a money belt is to take it along, likewise also a bag, and whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one. For I tell you that this which is written must be fulfilled in Me, ‘And he was numbered with transgressors’; for that which refers to Me has its fulfillment.” They said, “Lord, look, here are two swords.” And He said to them, “It is enough.”
Jesus told them—didn’t ask or mildly suggest—but told His buddies to sell their leather jacket if need be and buy a sword. The sword that Christ told His compadres to purchase was not a QVC decorative Claymore to hang on their walls to commemorate the good times they had when Yeshua was around. The original word used for sword in this text was a large knife used for killing animals and cutting flesh. It was particularly fashioned for short, deadly thrusts in hand-to-hand combat.
Jesus didn’t tell them to carry a whistle, a shofar horn, or a bag of sand to blow in bad guys’ eyes, but a dagger-like sword—a vicious, nasty and deadly weapon not used for cutting vegetables, spreading butter or splitting a bagel but for violently tapping a lung or heart in case of an attack. Now, in a 21st century WWJD context, even though He didn’t personally carry a weapon, what do you think He thinks about His followers defending themselves with deadly force, huh, Mr. Costas?