Since nobody seems to want these crocus updates, I’ll assume it’s because I haven’t explained it well enough, like Pres. Obama told Diane Sawyer over the weekend vis-a-vis his Obamacare that nobody wants because he hasn’t explained it enough times yet (or you’re just too dumb to get it!).  So here’s another address about it (or you’re just too dumb to get it!).  The State of the Crocus.  All rise.

Also see: “Crocus update: blooming is currently prorogued” (Jan 25);
and “Crocus ready to bloom” (Jan 22)

Be seated. 

Like Obama’s unemployment prognostications (it’ll be 8% I swear!  OK it’s 11, so who’s counting?), the crocus has still failed to bloom.  Except here’s the thing.  It seems to have tried to bloom, but a slug or multiple slugs working in cahoots like in a vast no-wing conspiracy of some sort, have actually eaten the flower itself as you can see below.  (Also see this blog entry re slugs for a sluggy coikidink!)

If I had applied some of those wonderful pesticides (now banned in most liberal “progressive” territories which we once thought were our own private property —suckers!), I could have — or allowed to have — fulfilled the natural crocus bloomage. 

So in effect, I could say that I could have “created or saved” the blooming crocus.  Yup.  Created or saved. 

As it is, it looks near dead. 

But unaided by any stimulus at all, these two other ones have popped-up.  They’re very enterprising!  Private enterprising!  Do note the smarmy li’l snail sittin’ right there waiting to pounce though!  I’ll zap it with some yummy illegal pesticides (or possibly send the young puppy Sammy out there to eat it) right quick. 

And speaking of Sammy, for all those who ask about Sammy and whether her raging communist or jihadist reign of terror is over, well yes it mostly is, at six months and four days of age.  Here she is, post escargot lunch.

Possibly related posts:

• Crocus update: blooming is currently prorogued
• Crocus ready to bloom
• Paul Martin to address his loyal subjects tomorrow
• Listen or watch Harper National Caucus address
• Liberals don’t “approve” of PM address on 9/11

 

Sammy made further moves this morning to solidify her apparent swing to the political right side, and generally proving her properly conservative and anti-socialist-communist bona fides.  (See our previous update for reference.)

A well-paid public servant slipped our PTBC mail through the mail slot at the suite of massive PTBC corporate offices this morning.  Among the bills for Ann Coulter columns and other delightful mail, he dropped off the latest edition of the “People’s Voice” (the newspaper’s name is a hilarious misnomer — it’s not actually the “people’s” voice, it is of course the voice of the socialist/communist community). 

Sammy immediately grabbed… what?  The People’s Voice.  Leaving the bills for such things as Ann Coulter columns (which are far more tasteful and possibly tastier).  And she started tearing into it.

Apparently Sammy, unlike those who own and run that horribly stupid journal, joins me in actually being on OUR side;  and she actually supports our troops instead of blithely putting them in grave danger and attempting to destroy their very will while they risk their lives for the communists and socialists and women with hairy armpits in Canada, with incessant left-wing idiot blather about “bringing our troops home” right in the middle of a war we must win.

She has abandoned the paper-chewing sortie for now, in favor of a mission to destroy a wayward slipper.  But I’ll leave it on the floor for further destruction and a possible poop (fingers crossed!).

Possibly related posts:

• Samra update: Sleeping with communists
• Samra update: Ironic attack
• Samra Update: Surveillance video reveals effort to dig tunnel to Communist China
• Sammy update: Documents reveal China Communist connection —to China tunneling effort
• Maclean’s unleashes its latest liberal ‘n Obama promotion and kiss-up edition

 

After several scary signs, many documented right here, showing Sam was engaged in a full-on jihad against us, and a previous spy video showing her digging a hole to Communist China to join Hu Jintao’s league of ChiCom puppies, and many other worrying signs of war against the right side (that’s us!), and of course the most upsetting of all, her hitting the bottom and literally the bottle, as caught on video, Samra now appears to be showing signs of moving in the right direction. 

She’s reached 16 weeks of age, a time when most sensible people of intelligence have already recognized the values of conservatism, so this appears to be right on cue.  To borrow a Coulterism, “Swing voters are more appropriately known as the ‘idiot voters’ because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen, you’re either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster.” 

After thumbing through my “People’s Voice” newspaper, Samra was previously seen having a nap on it (‘parently put her to sleep —good sign!), as I’d left it on the floor to be recycled into the horse crap from whence it was derived.  But today Sammy entered my suite of normally super secure PTBC offices, and proceeded to rip the latest issue of the socialist/communist rag (in their articles they repeatedly refer to themselves as both socialists and communists so I’m not sure what they prefer, not that it really matters) to shreds —with her high-performance teeth and paws.  Sources indicate to us that the shred and awe action was dubbed by her compatriots as “Operation Socialist Shred-O-Matic (arf)”. 

After viewing the above photo and the inherent, embarrassing proof that even puppies see their paper for what it’s worth, we understand the BC branch of the ACLU is looking into possible “human rights violations” or violations of “civil liberties” with which they could charge me, the just-so-happens-to-be-conservative owner of the now right-leaning puppy, and of their now-destroyed communist/socialist paper.  (Or at least I assume they’d call it their paper).  As usual, they are more concerned about the plight of the enemy — jihadists, communists, etc. — than us.  And so we properly ignore them, since we, at least, are on our side.

FURTHER EVIDENCE of her maturing, mentally/politically:
This does look like a Commie?  A jihadist?  Or a normal conservative?

Later today we visit the medics and get her final set of vaccines, including a rabies vaccine.  I may also use that sortie to secure some additional puppy-treat armaments.  She likes the ones shaped like bunnies. 

Over and out for now.

Possibly related posts:

• Sammy update: possible truce
• Sammy Update: Sam is on the bottle now.
• Sammy update: The Jihad Continues
• Sammy update: Documents reveal China Communist connection —to China tunneling effort
• Mock the mentally handicapped: the true mindset of the liberal-left

 

Things have spun wildly out of control.

http://www.youtube.com/PuppyNewsChannel

Possibly related posts:

• Sammy update: The Jihad Continues
• Sammy update: Documents reveal China Communist connection —to China tunneling effort
• Samra Update: Surveillance video reveals effort to dig tunnel to Communist China
• Sammy update: possible truce
• Anti-chemical Activists Hit the (Plastic) Bottle Again

 

Diplomatic Negotiations Have Failed

While Cesar Millan, the legendary pack leader of all get out, would be proud of our coalition and Sammy for this one micro-second of calm, submissive, puppy bliss during negotiations yesterday, the grueling facts on the ground tell a different story.  Before and after this and a few other moments like this, it’s really all about the jihad against the coalition forces of Joel and wife Jo-Anne, and the coalition of the willing which includes our friends some of our friends and neighbors some of our neighbors.

This proves once again to those of you in the tea and bun set that you can’t negotiate with terrorists.  Not even with cookies and yummy treats.

We have deployed all manner of rather inconvenient and inaesthetic barricades and fencing material and have managed to secure the area inside the house surrounding the kitchen as a Samra no-fly zone, until such time as full Samradian capitulation is acknowledged, and a formal surrender by her is secured.

However as you can tell by the sly look on her face in the intel photo above, there seems little chance of that happening imminently. 

We have now doubled the chicken wire fencing along the already (we thought) secure wooden back yard fence to keep her from digging more tunnels to communist China (see video and further update).  We see no evidence that such an eventuality is forthcoming in the near future however, and so we remain on full alert at all times.

We are at Defcon 4 at this time.  Samra is currently refueling and is not actively engaged at this moment.

Intel reports:
During a trip to Wal Mart last week, me and my wife passed right by a new book by Cesar Millan on how to raise a puppy, sniffing that we have more than enough allied resources at our disposal.  However, after a nasty series of battles, we reconsidered our troop level needs, and bought the book at Costco, read it immediately, and are now in the process of awaiting two additional puppy-raising DVDs from CesarMillanInc.com.  We would welcome more troops of course, and perhaps a compliment of sedatives for the Generals, or some plenty of whiskey. 

We remain optimistic.

Latest video from Puppy News Channel:

http://www.youtube.com/PuppyNewsChannel
http://www.proudtobecanadian.ca/index/category/samra/

-READER EMAIL-

From: Dean
Sent: Tuesday, October 20, 2009 6:12 AM
To: ProudToBeCanadian.ca
Subject: Re: Samra update

Joel,

Are you sure that Samra is not part Lab? (Lab motto – If it moves it’s food, if it doesn’t move it’s food). Was she actually trying to eat the bowl? When all else fails you can always use a cage! Not for long term of course, but just to provide a few moments of relief to catch up on sleep!

Dean

Dean I’ve tried sleeping in a cage but it’s really cramped! 

There’s no lab in her because I’ve seen and met her mom and dad (who are really nice, gentle, docile doggies!).  She doesn’t actually try to eat things but likes to chew through almost everything.  She has any number of chew toys and chewy treats but there is no end to her fascination with teeth and gnawing through things.  So I’m thinking she’s part beaver.

Joel

From: Mike
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 7:03 AM
To: ProudToBeCanadian.ca
Subject: Am enjoying your puppy updates

Hey Joel,

Figured I’d say the above, as I got a new kitten about a month and a half ago, and am largely going through similar stuff as you are. I’ve discovered the Keira’s modus operandi is “If it moves, attack it. If it doesn’t move, attack it anyways, it might move.” Great fun these little hyper and curious beasts (as my girlfriend calls her, Beast. I prefer ‘Attack Monkey’ myself.)

Take care and enjoy!

Mike

Possibly related posts:

• Sammy update: Documents reveal China Communist connection —to China tunneling effort
• Sammy update: possible truce
• Update to: Vancouver Muslim espouses jihad, calls Jews ‘monkeys and swine’
• Samra update: Ironic attack
• Samra update: Sleeping with communists

 

NewsQuips are updated as I find the time throughout the day.  Sammy updates will also be added as my puppy bite wounds heal.

1.  I loved this just for its quintessential Church of Liberalism idiocy:  The state of Arizona has a law which forbids school kids from decorating Christmas trees with Christian things.  No seriously. 

And Arizona was chosen to be this year’s source for Washington D.C.‘s annual Christmas tree’s handcrafted ornaments. 

But state and federal officials won’t allow a decoration that says “Merry Christmas”, or “Happy Birthday Jesus”.  You know, none of those yucky “Christ-y” things.  They have to only show reverence for The State.  Not Jesus.  Not at Christmas.  Not on a Christmas tree. 

This is the liberal-left secular-progressive politically-correct paradigm lunacy in action.  This is why being liberal is so hard.  Of course those of us in the sensible set know it’s actually utterly preposterous.

Arizona’s official state motto is “Ditat Deus,” which means “God Enriches.”  Perhaps they should add “Liberals Diminish” (possibly in French).

Read about it here.

2.  John Stossel wrote in this week’s column (we used to carry it but we don’t have enough money now.  Hello? Is this thing on?).  I liked this snippet:

As I wrote in February: “Given time, the economy, unless totally crippled by government intervention, will regenerate itself. That’s because an economy is not a machine that needs jumpstarting. It is people who have objectives they want to achieve. They will not sit on their hands forever waiting for government to ‘fix’ things. Instead, they work to overcome obstacles to get what they want. Some banks are struggling, but there are still people who want to lend money and people who want to borrow it. They will find each other without government help.”

Read it here.

3.  PTBC reader Warren Z. sent this along.  Great article for those of us who don’t buy into the highly profitable “man made global warming” farce, and those who are “man-made global warming” or Suzuki or Gore or any other sycophants of socialist political science :  “How the global warming industry is based on one MASSIVE lie”.  It’s a quick and easy read, and it’s utterly amazing to me how the media get away with not publishing the full story all over their newspapers and TV broadcasts.  They are living one MASSIVE lie.  (Again:  Is this thing on?)

4.  Sarah Palin’s upcoming new book, “Going Rogue: An American Life”, which isn’t even out yet, and won’t be until November, is already a best-seller.  I’m not sure if this is some sort of record or what, but I’m thrilled about it.  I’ve added it to our PTBC Amazon page in the #1 slot.  Pre-order it today and help boost this thing. 

The memoir, which became available for pre-order this week, has been in Amazon.com’s top 100 for three days, and just replaced the latest novel from “Da Vinci Code” author Dan Brown at the top of the list.

—Reuters

PTBC Amazon Store

5.    National Post makes it official:  they support socialism, and socialism-reliant, state-owned media.  Or to put it another way, they’re all washed-up.  They have officially inked a deal conjoining them with the far-left, state-owned, socialism-reliant state news media, in what some would call a totally idiotic move, and others would call a fascist move, and others would simply call it an unprincipled and friendly nod to socialism in our country. 

If I didn’t read it myself, I’d have thought they were joking —and a bad joke at that.  That’s why I simply plopped the graphic of the item on the page.

6.    … possibly upcoming…

Possibly related posts:

• NewsQuips for Friday, July 3, 2009
• (4) NewsQuips - Friday July 17 2009
• (6) Friday NewsQuips—July 10 2009
• (7) NewsQuips for Tuesday July 8 2009
• T.G.I. Friday Newsquips

 

Our intelligence sources have uncovered and declassified some evidence suggesting that some rather plain-looking puppy toys are in fact possible propaganda ploys, manufactured in the People’s Republic of China by, of course, the ChiComs.

Commies.

This would of course help explain the effort, revealed earlier in covert surveillance video tape recorded by PTBC operatives, of the effort by Sammy to dig a hole to China.  (See video.) 

Clearly the items — an innocuous-looking fuzzy-wuzzy “pig” in this case — are being examined for possible spy technology implanted therein.  Possibly to be ingested by little Sammy.

Sources tell us that we’re duped into blithely accepting that the pig “toys” are made in China because of course we lack the technology in this country to manufacture such snugly devices.  Once again, we lack the technology.

EXTRA:
I have categorized the Sam updates into a category named “Samra”.  Here’s the link:
http://www.proudtobecanadian.ca/index/category/samra/
Burn the URL after engaging it.

http://www.youtube.com/PuppyNewsChannel

Possibly related posts:

• Samra Update: Surveillance video reveals effort to dig tunnel to Communist China
• Sammy update: possible truce
• Carbon ‘n smoke from Obama to NDP with love from Communist China
• Conservative MP wants aid to China stopped. (Yes, we give aid to china!)
• Samra update: Sleeping with communists

 

From: “Paul W
Sent: Thursday, October 01, 2009 12:17 PM
To: “ProudToBeCanadian.ca”
Subject: My Bishop was arrested for kiddie porn

Joel,

It makes me sad that Bishop Lahey was arrested for having kiddie porn on his computer when passing through Canada Customs from the USA.  If he did something reprehensible, I hope he is properly and proportionately dealt with.

HOWEVER, I know that won’t be the case.  Bishop Lahey recently was instrumental in resolving a settlement for a sex abuse suit.  In addition he has been an outspoken opponent of same sex marriage.  He is being excoriated in the press.

http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/1145376.html

Why I am writing you Joel is because Roman Polanski, who was found guilty of child rape is being heralded as a “great director” and hero in the very same paper and in the news in general.

Sad times.  The bishop was wrong.  So too was Polanski.

Paul W

Hi Paul,

Is there anyone left who doesn’t recognize the breathtaking dishonesty and hypocrisy of liberals and their media, yet?  We’re reminded in new and exciting ways every day and sometimes several times in a day.

They pounce like rabid wolves on any conservative or better yet, any Christian (whom they often conflate with “conservative”, though in the Catholic Church, they could well be very liberal and even farther-left) caught in an alleged crime, and then on the same day find a way to defend and instantly forgive and seek to bestow “honor”  on liberals convicted of the same or worse crimes, and who is spending his life living large and spreading his sense of values and culture around the globe.  For example the impeached President Bill Clinton is still revered by liberals.  Or they utterly ignore stories of liberals caught with their pants down, who would be president, such as, say, John Edwards.  Or Edward Kennedy, who killed a girl and then walked away.  I give similar examples of this nearly every day.

These are the same people who honor abortion mill operators like Henry Morgentaler, and today, George Tiller the abortion mill operator who had a particular appetite for late-term abortions.  But who then joyously (or is it rabidly?) tear to shreds good people who have live good lives, who have achieved success, who are full of honor and good deeds and nothing but good intentions, and who strive to serve, like, say, Sarah Palin, and her entire family, including her children, simply because they hate that she’s pro-life, and conservative, and Christian, and who had the gall to chose not to abort her Down’s Syndrome child, and whose daughter chose not to abort her child. 

Being liberal must be very hard.

Joel

-READER EMAIL-

From: “Paul W
Sent: Thursday, October 01, 2009 5:49 PM
To: “ProudToBeCanadian.ca”
Subject: Re: My Bishop was arrested for kiddie porn

Thanks Joel, good reply.

You know what?  I actually think that liberals are in favor of, and celebrate pedophilia.  Look at Woody Allen.  I think that they hate the church and will betray their own beliefs of sex with children to take a piece out of the Catholic Church.  I just wish the priests wouldn’t make it so easy for the leftists.

Take care.

Paul

——————————————-

From: Norm M
Sent: Thursday, October 01, 2009 8:19 PM
To: proudtobecanadian.ca
Subject: Liberal Positions

Reminds me of a comment by PJ O’Rourke regarding positions on capital punishment and abortion;

A pragmatic person can be logically in favor of both

A religious person can logically oppose both

A judgemental person can logially be in favour of hanging the guilty and protecting the innocent

It must take years of psycho therapy to arrive at the liberal position ie kill the innocent and protect the guilty!

Norm Matthew

———————————————

From: David N
Sent: Friday, October 02, 2009 6:20 AM
To: ProudToBeCanadian.ca
Subject: Letterman revealed

Hi Joel

Not sure if you caught this but it appears Letterman may just in fact be a sexual predator himself.  Possibly using his influence, perhaps, to garner sexual favors from female staff members.  He probably was also sleeping around on his current wife and long time girlfriend with reckless abandon.  And yet, it’s funny when this happens.  Guess there won’t be any top 10 lists on what he did but I guess … he also uses his position to garner sexual favors.  Quite an honorable gentleman that Letterman is isn’t he.  I guess now he may gain the same type of support and admiration that the rapist and sodomite Roman Polanski has received from the Hollywood trailer-trash crew.  (Sorry that’s an insult to those hard working people who have to live in trailers but I can’t think of anything right now). 

What a boob that Letterman is.

PS:  My two year old Labrador has destroyed all our Roses, Tulips and Geraniums and after watching Sammy I’m wondering if she has something against the Dutch or something.  I shall have to do some further investigation myself.

Regards

David N
http://www.ottawasun.com/entertainment/tv/2009/10/01/11246291-ap.html

Further references to this latest Hollywood liberal, David Letterman, who makes millions joking about how awful he pretends it to be when others are caught having sex out of wedlock, being caught with his pants down and his morals and ethics even lower than his pants; and the guy who infamously made a fake, joe-ridden on-air “apology” after one of his attempts of the character assassination of Sarah Palin and telling sex jokes about her 14-year-old child:

• TV Barn.com: “You know what’s creepy? Telling a story about having sex with your employees to people who LAUGH and APPLAUD”
• ABC News story:  Letterman’s Confesses to Sex With Staffers

Possibly related posts:

• PTBC reader launches complaint against CBC for hate speech against Catholics in its reader comments
• Email from reader who viewed CBC this morning.
• Pesticide heaven: a reader email that made my day
• Reader email: Barbara Kay “relayed exactly … about Canadian authors … and those ‘prizes’”
• PTBC reader writes right

 

http://www.youtube.com/PuppyNewsChannel

Possibly related posts:

• Samra update: Ironic attack
• Samra update: Sleeping with communists
• Carbon ‘n smoke from Obama to NDP with love from Communist China
• MUST SEE VIDEO: “Burning Down the House: What Caused Our Economic Crisis?”—video remix now up
• VIDEO: Olivia Chow sounds very much like a communist to me.

 

Surveillance photos reveal Sammy deeply entrenched —albeit real cute ‘n snuggly-lookin’ (it’s a ploy) — amongst sundry nefarious correspondence, possibly plotting some sort of coup, or possibly an upcoming poop.

Keen observers will notice the presence of the official Communist Party newspaper —The People’s Voice.  Central Command is attempting to arrange for the use of that rag (which is merely posing as papers to be recycled) as a doggy toilet of sorts, since up to now, she has been “carpet bombing” (as it were —use your imagination), except when our defensive forces’ quick-response mechanisms have been quick enough to intercept and divert her to the doggy door and out to the lawns in the free-fly zone. 

There remains the possibility of employing Sammy as the world’s best shredder of material set aside for recycling, which would be handy as hell.

We remain on DEFCON 4 at this time.  Stay tuned for further updates. 

Support the troops.  Support the mission.  God help us all.

Possibly related posts:

• Samra update: Ironic attack
• Maybe they awoke a sleeping giant. Now to Canada?
• Sleeping in the basement
• Canadian liberal-left success: Half of Canadians now appear to be communists
• New third document ties Kerry to Hanoi Communists