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Whiny Atheists Protest Charlie Brown Christmas Special

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The atheists I grew up with in Texas were a tad bit pluckier than today’s lardy hagfish atheists who file lawsuits every winter when they see a child wrapped in swaddling clothes.

Yep, the anti-theists I used to hang out with in the Lone Star state were rugged individualists who were so busy milking this existence that they didn’t have time to bleat like a stuck sheep because a plastic baby Jesus statue endangered their delicate beliefs.

My other non-believing buddies who weren’t the robust Hemingway types were usually heady stoners who were into physics, Pink Floyd and Frisbee and were completely comfortable around people of faith versus today’s reflexively irate, touchy atheists who pop a blood vein in their forehead if they accidentally hear “Silent Night” playing at Macy’s.

For God’s sake atheists, übermensch up why don’t you?

The latest hissy fit thrown by the anti-theist this Christmas is over Charlie Brown. Yep, according to Fox News “Charlie Brown is in the middle of a contentious religious fight. A group of parents are fighting an Arkansas elementary school over a field trip to see a stage production of ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ at a church. Fox News religion contributor Father Jonathan Morris weighed in on the controversy yesterday on Fox and Friends. Father Morris asked, “Who would be afraid of their children going to watch a classic Charlie Brown story like this?” He said, “The fact that we have the right to free speech for all means that there’s going to be also an opportunity and a probability that there will also be people who will do stupid, ignorant and totally out of line things like protesting the fact that Charlie Brown is going to be presented, and his Christmas story presented to kids.”

According to the 21st century metrosexual atheist motif, anything that offends the pouty atheist should now be banned. That makes me scratch my head because I thought the atheists were the tough-minded ones who could stare death in the face and mock God and His dictates, but now a silicone statue of Yeshua in diapers puts them in a tailspin. Hello, sweetie.

FYI to the spindly atheists: You’ve got your work cut out for you if you want to scrub culture of its Christian influence because we have rubber stamped this planet via the arts and human expression for many, many moons. Have you ever heard of Bach, van Eyck, Vermeer, Handel, Mendelssohn, Haydn and a writer named Billy Shakespeare? What about the artists of the early Italian Renaissance or the tens of thousands of other artists, writers and composers throughout history who were either die-hard believers or at least worked within the framework of a Christian worldview? Are you going to take a belt sander to their works because they remind you of Hey-Soos?

You know who did atheism right? The late Christopher Hitchens. He didn’t whine or sue schools for singing “Oh, Come All Ye Faithful.” What did he do? He vigorously argued his point of view, engaged the brethren without being a shrill priss and left it to the audience to decide what path they were going to take, and I dig that kind of robust character. That said, as you can tell, I have no respect for atheists who want to ban Christian symbolism because they don’t happen to buy it.

Merry Christmas.

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  • Jonathan Boesel

    I agree with your opinion on not removing Christmas decorations. Not on grounds
    of preserving the essence or even tradition; but for the simple fact that the
    majority of people celebrate or at least enjoy the Christmas holiday. People
    have the right to express that be it your yard or place of business.
    That is about the extent of which a logical person who is truly enlightened to
    the issues of this world can follow you.

    First you open by talking about atheists used to this, and that, and go on to lay
    out a few more blanket statements about current atheists; somehow thinking
    in your lifespan the worldview of all atheists have changed from science and
    natural order into a Christmas bashing mob is laughable. These people you talk
    about are extremist viewpoints, likely deriving from a fear of a ever
    corrupting world in which they feel God has not answered their wishes; you are
    feeling their hatred. Most of us are scientific minds that believe in everything,
    anything, its all possible, even god. That’s the best part of our universe, it’s
    the dynamic reason we exist. To believe so whole-heartedly something written
    down by man, without at least considering everything else, is self-fulfilling
    folly.

    Next, if this matter concerns a public school it is VERY clear the separation
    of Church and state and a federally funded school has no grounds to take kids
    to a church of any fashion. No argument. Albeit a classic new-American lawsuit
    over chicken scratch its has some merit.

    “Metrosexual atheist motif” have your heard yourself lately? Really
    sit back and re-read what you just posted and tell me its not the reactionary
    garbage we fight against the liberals so hard for. I mean the emotion that is
    bleeding through your words is painful. Didn’t any wise men ever tell you that you
    can’t make logical decisions while emotion is involved?

    Everything in this world that is currently falling apart and sees daily
    violence can almost directly be traced back to religious issues. Crusades
    (episodes 1-9), arguably any time the bible was un-translated, wars in the Middle East almost non-stop for thousands of years. It is why the Republican Party will
    never rise back up and we will swindle away to mediocrity under the assumption
    helping the needy. All republicans need to do is give up gung-ho views on
    abortion that are negated by most of the scientific community; lets face it
    kids the population numbers need to be looked at anyway; and leave religion out
    of the party platform, we will have all the answers. Take a look at your
    “read right”, all respectable books about the economy and philosophy
    that the country needs to follow…and then the religious writing. Why, I ask,
    are they there? What benefit do they bring to the table other than to perpetuate
    more bickering like you and your supposed all encompassing mariachi band of
    devolved atheists, or was it metrosexuals? O, but I forgot, I was so innately
    worried about your Linsey Lohanesk problems; I forgot about the all out world
    war, with political alignments already taking shape around the world, we are
    about to see with ground zero in, you guessed it, the Holy Land. The irony must
    be beyond you.

    If you have any pull with the powers at be, for the love of God,
    stop perpetuating this insanity and heed these words.

    I feel like I should have to say any of this to anyone… Why is no one talking
    about this stuff. The hell.

    -Jonathan Boesel

    • JoelJohannesen

      After that humorless and mostly nonsensical lecture, how can I not be surprised that your email address ends in “.edu” ?

  • Jonathan Boesel

    Im not sure how that is really relevant, unless your speaking to the actual staff at universities which are historically liberal? All I’m pointing out is that you lose more republican support than one realizes when you start bashing “atheists” in general for something a group of people who are trying to abuse the system of justice did. Where do you think the margin lies that Romney lost by? Im on board with letting the Obama administration run free for 4 years and waiting to say “I told you so”. Fool me once…well twice, but in either case much thought needs to be put into revising the platform or I feel another loss to the Democratic party might be it. Im only offering an opinion on how to make up that margin. The GOP seemed to lose a lot of the vote to women that did not support the abortion stances and people who feel threatened by their own parties religious “tolerance”. Im all for the morals the most moral book has to offer and will happily work beside any Christian; I only judge people for their actions. But when my own government and supposed political thinkers lash out so extremely in such ignorant ways it makes it hard for me to trust my own party who by all other measures has it spot on. More workable minds would (and did) flop votes, evident by our current president.

    And I think we’ve all had enough humor from politics with Obama winning his first election with bedazzled t-shirts and his more recent neglect to have a single physician on his Obamacare committee don’t you?

    I meant nothing offensive by my post, I only took a hash tone to combat the columnist. Not that your comment helped the debate much.

    • JoelJohannesen

      In your hit piece on Giles’ writing style and substance, I think you meant to hit the “reply” link to my comment, which was itself a reply to your first comment. And your apparent inability to learn basic grammar, punctuation, spelling, typing skills, and capitalization in today’s schools also doesn’t help you make your points very readable. It does help make things almost comprehensible to others when you do it right. Also helpful: not being a pedantic bore.

      But I see you disagree with “humor” and successfully getting your point across.

      The author, Doug Giles, a Christian conservative pastor, always writes with a good happy warrior attitude: lightheartedly, even while putting himself out there and throwing a damn good hard political punch — which is a strategy which works well in politics and in life generally. And this is in contradistinction to the atheists he is talking about, and which you are not.

      Aside from your ever so ironic sideswipes on Giles’ writing style, and your idiotic attacks on religion, and on Republicans, and on their generally principled stand on abortion (contra your genius line about “gung-ho views on abortion that are negated by most of the scientific community; lets face it kids the population numbers need to be looked at anyway”), and on how Republicans might win elections, and on my “Reading Right” list, and on just about everything you could think of; and stating all these things in the most humorless and hard-to-read manner possible, you do manage to eke out a point about a school bringing kids, after asking the consent of their parents, to a church to watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special.”

      What an egregious thing. Imagine. What would 90% of America say? What would the Constitutional framers say?! No really. Answer that.

      Me and my wife are usually sent to a church to vote at election time.

      Merry Christmas.

      • Jonathan Boesel

        I don’t judge you, why must you judge me? This is exactly why I can’t follow organized religion. Its so methodical and idealistic that most of you have seem to lose all ability empathize with others to be fully able to argue against their point. You must live in a small or rural town to vote at a church. And if parents consent was asked, its a ridiculous lawsuit but the blanket statements made by Mr. Giles made me feel belittled in the eyes of my fellow man based solely off my beliefs and nothing more. Can’t you understand this? Everything else we fight for is the same, I’m on your side, most “atheist” views align with yours and would laugh at the small minded lawsuit along side you. Something to think about.

        Merry Christmas my friend, aside from our conversation I wish you well.

  • John

    Isn’t this entire blog a whine fest? Whether it’s the CBC, Canada Post, Purolator or some bullshit that Fox News has proven to be a fact (which usually means a blatant lie)…. Joel is there to cry about it. Doug Giles would be embarrassed to be associated with a fuckwit like Joel if he actually read this abomination of a web site.

    Joel has been asked on numerous occasions to debate via the web, and turned every single invite down. Proving he’s a big giant armchair pundit.

    I do give respect to Doug for having praise of Hitchens, the man was a modern day literary genius.

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