Here’s a handy election guide!

Here’s a helpful election tip for the liberals in the political left of Canada, and of course the extreme left, the socialist NDP:  If you think that the notion of privatization is so bad, then surely you agree that the opposite would be better.

Unprivatize!

The earth somehow got kick-started without a government aid program, but I’m sure your progressive government social programs will really get things flying like the postal service. 

And damn, after some sneaky governments have gotten away with privatizing some things back to the way they were before the government fixed everything, you all should progress things for us again. 

Campaign for unprivatization!

To garner the ultimate respect—that is, the respect of the university professors at Simon Fraser University (both flavors, left wing and extreme left wing), and the media (ditto), do it in order of priority from now on. Peddling car insurance with the optional towing and hotel package while leaving the citizens’ food, shelter, and clothing needs behind—in the hands of the nefarious private citizens and their evil private free market enterprise—is rather embarrassing to the professors.  It just seems so unplanned.  Merlot before beans?  I don’t think so.

FOOD

Start by campaigning to turn fast-food outlets, supermarkets and bakeries into government operations called People’s Stores (McPeople’s burgers could still be called Big Macs owing to the “Mc” at the beginning but to encourage the inner-city vote, you might want to peddle them as “Big Peeps”).  Now, the People will be killing the people instead of the evil corporation killing the people—damn, we’ll be suing ourselves and complaining about ourselves as evil purveyors of killer french fries.  It will get confusing.  Remain calm. Change the subject when asked about it.  Or better yet, think of yet another example of evil coprorations killing “working families”. (But, duh, don’t bring up health care.  Like I had to tell ya!)

Safeway could be renamed “ReallySafeway”, since government employees, instead of non-government employees, would be choosing what we eat and at what price, like they currently do with the evil and dangerous liquor products.