Hey Rolling Stone: “cutting edge” would actually be to iconify a typical tea party patriot — favorably.

I’ve rolled my eyes so much in the past week or two that my eyeballs actually hurt, what with the predictable idiocy and ignorance and spin from the Left and their mainstream media division about the Zimmerman verdict, and more recently the Rolling Stone cover featuring the jihadist terrorist in Boston looking every bit the Jim Morrison cool-cat, and how all the media are covering all that. The ignorance and naivete and outright lies perpetrated by the Left, especially on the Zimmerman verdict, is beyond the pale.

Let’s take just this one morsel: my amazement that so many in the media  — even in the few outlets left that I actually respect like Fox News Channel and several of the blogs and internet news sites I follow  —  are falling into the obvious trap set by the owners and editors of Rolling Stone this week. These people (the non-Fox media in general) usually seem to think of themselves as so damn smart  — almost smart like the governments they so adore!  —  and regularly presume to explain to us how life works, as if they know, and we don’t.

But they are betraying themselves as idiots, yet again. The malleable media is letting Rolling Stone act-out their fantasy as trolls and puppet masters. I hate trolls. I don’t like puppet masters. I don’t even like working for anybody for a living. I’m not a trained seal or group-think follower or even a “team player,” and I don’t let self-anointed meme-makers (especially the liberal left or “progressive” hipster-types) do that to me.

The liberal-left New York Times does it daily, wherein the rest of the media follows whatever tone is set by them for their own “take” or “angle” on a story or current event. An even better example is how the extreme leftist George Soros industrial complex controls his useful idiots via his various left-wing social marionettesengineering web sites and phony “news” or “news watch” sites (Media Matters…), and the various far-left special interest, community-organizing, or professional agitation organizations (, Tides, Think Progress…), which he controls with his countless billions. Actually for an even better example, it’s like how the Obama regime release their talking points and (often) outright lies through their or their other organizations like ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, the New York Times, CNN, MSNBC, PBS, and so on), and how the rest of the media then print the exact same talking points in full and their TV anchors repeat them in their “news reports”  —  all unquestioned  —  as if repeating the very word of God (actually, in their case, more likely the word of Gaea or Al Gore). Or as if they’re being honest brokers who have actually researched a damn thing.

The media are being the Rolling Stone’s marionettes. But being marionettes controlled by these people is just embarrassing. Or it should  be.

This is exactly what Rolling Stone planned, and they must all be laughing their now usually unnoticed asses off as they watch the easily predictable outrage now dominating the media, and hear the chatter at Starbucks and Whole Foods.

In the blogger or discussion forum world, Rolling Stone (like Newsweek, before it died, and several others) is a prime example of what we call a “troll.” An internet troll says the most extreme or outlandish things, often beyond the pale, on purpose. It’s calculated. In fact so obviously calculated that with the slightest bit of experience or practice, even the most naive, idiot reader or fool could see it a mile away.

The troll does it with the hope of getting attention for whatever nefarious reason (ironically, in the case of the very liberal-left Rolling Stone, it is to gain more of that capitalist profit they usually pretend to so hate, though they’d never admit this)  —  or it’s simply to gain some sort of quasi sexual relief from the resulting and very predictable outrage (which, since it involves sex, they probably would admit). The more sophisticated or intellectual blog or discussion forum commenters summarily ignore them  —  thereby beating them down and also boosting their own internet coolness factor. For example, since I see this for what it is, I’m obviously very, very cool.

In this case though, Rolling Stone is a much bigger troll, and has a much bigger bridge to crawl out from under than the usual blog or internet forum. And it’s ostensibly for the younger set (though I question what now must be their aged demographics). And as if on cue, the naive media are responding with the exactly-as-hoped-for attention and outrage, and feeding the troll. Or worse, they are actually embarrassing themselves even more by reverentially drumming-up some notion that the Rolling Stone editors are actually some sort of erudite super-class  — ahead of us all, intellectually  —  and that Rolling Stone is actually doing this altruistically, to start yet another one of those hideous “national conversations” about one or another left-wing “social justice” topic du jour. Left-wing or progressive people are always on about “starting a  conversation.” (Then, they allow only left-wing points of view across, bashing or shouting-down or down-right silencing any conservative or traditional “conversation.”)

What I’d respect is if a media outlet would simply ignore it, or only ever refer to it offhandedly as “that stupid, childish effort at cheap attention-getting from the dunderheads at that kids’ magazine Rolled Stones or whatever it’s called…”  —  without ever showing the cover of course.

And what I’d respect just as much is if the Rolling Stoned had the balls to actually be cutting edge and cool  —  and depict a conservative person or notion or ideal on their cover  —  in a positive light. And if they then wrote-up an article in a positive or even a neutral light. That would be truly brave and daring and cutting edge.

And I’m not the only one who knows cool and ballsy. In today’s email newsletter by Jim Geraghty of National Review (one of those blogs I respect), entitled “Like a Crazy Ex, Rolling Stone Desperately Hoping You’ll Pay Attention to Them Again,” Geraphty writes an addendum, citing the writing of Michael Graham:

ADDENDUM: Michael Graham: “Hey, Rolling Stone magazine! Next time you want to prove how provocative and edgy you are, put a flattering photo of George Zimmerman on your cover.”

What I said.

Or put a picture of, say, a normal traditionally married (white, even!) couple  —  yes, one male and one female  — on your cover, all cool and reverential and Jim Morrison (and now, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev)-like, instead of yet another one of those now well past their best-before date “conversations” about same-sex couples (passionately kissing, of course!), who enjoy “sustainable” anything, or “green” or “organic” anything, or anything “justice,” obviously contrived for quick, maximum attention and profits.

To be truly bleeding edge, add that traditional couple’s three kids to the picture. And then to turn sales around for a year and have people really talking, write about how that couple are conservatives, yet don’t include the words “total creeps” and “weirdos” and “extremists” and “”fundamentalists” and “evangelicals” and “homophobes” and “racists.”  That would be nominally “cutting edge” and daring and brave.

Meantime, some will protest, “but Joel  —  you’re doing exactly the same thing as the media right now, and paying attention to it!”.  No, well yes, but what I’m really doing is slamming the media for doing it. I have to allude to it by default (see the genius in all this?). The media are feeding the troll, and I’m mocking them for doing that. I want them to smarten-up and stop, so that the asses like those trolls at Rolling Idiots starve,  and the media and the culture generally improves as a result.

So hey kids, here’s the takeaway: you wanna be in the cool set —  and be really rogue and “different” and “individualistic” and hipster_supposed--wearing_uniform_item_wool_hat--indoors“daring” and “off-beat” and not “like everyone else?” Being conservative is a lot more edgy than being a liberal or socialist or communist or any other form of “progressive.” Check out conservative ideology and if you like it (you will), “out” yourself as a conservative on campus or out there in your party circuit or cool hipster coffee shop or organic sustainable park or green space. When asked what authors you like, say Ann Coulter or Thomas Sowell or Jonah Goldberg. Try NOT wearing the uniform  —  the hoodie or a wool hat in the middle of summer or indoors, and generally dressing like a dopey hipster. Shave (that means you gals should shave your underarms!), lose the face piercings, forget that new tattoo, and for once just dress like a normal person in, say, a clean golf shirt, jeans, and sneakers.  And when asked about the Zimmerman verdict or the Rolling Stone cover, behave like a thinking individual and rise above the group-think idiocy. That’s what I call being cool.


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Contact the Editor: Joel Johannesen

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