The Frequent Bomber Program


Dear Bill (Ayers):

I try not to use the word “jackass” too often. Whenever I start writing about you, however, that word just seems to fit into every sentence – sort of like Selah fits into a Davidic Psalm. In fact, found myself using a little profanity when I heard about your recent remarks at an occupy Wall Street gathering in New York City. Here they are in their unedited stupidity:

“We are living in a militarized society. That, that, it’s clear what the message is from power. The message is that Occupy represents violence, and marginalization and insanity, when in reality it’s the 1% that represents violence, and insanity and militarism. We’ve got a militarized society and it’s become so common sense that, getting on the airplane coming out here, the first thing they said was ‘let all the, let all the, you know, uniformed military get on first’ and ‘thank you for your service.’ And I say as I always do: let’s let the teachers and nurses get on first and thank them for their service. I mean, why is it that everything military has got to be good and everything that has to do with actual work, real work, not jobs, real work for people, that stuff gets discouraged and marginalized?”

Let’s be clear about something, Bill. You’re a tenured professor and that means you are the last person in the world to be lecturing anyone about real work. Tenure operates like socialism. There is no penalty for underperformance. There is only the reward of continued employment. That means you can say stupid things with regularity and never have to worry about occupying Wall Street with the chronically unemployed. You can just fly in, say a few stupid things in front of a fawning press, catch a Broadway show that evening, and head back to campus whenever you feel like it.

Teaching education does not really qualify as real work. Unlike military service, teaching education classes does not usually involve having people shoot at you. In fact, it would never happen if liberal educators were familiar with the research showing that concealed weapons permits reduce crime and should therefore be valid on campuses. Of course, most tenured educators don’t know this because they do not keep up with research after they get tenure.

Tenure also means that other radicals can hire you to fly in to speak at other universities for thousands of dollars per hour. And they cannot be fired for wasting taxpayer money on speeches by self-proclaimed domestic terrorists. Nor does it matter if the self-proclaimed domestic terrorists are incompetent and conspire with terrorists who sometimes blow up their own friends because they do not know how to properly assemble a pipe bomb.

I understand, of course, that your brothers and sisters in the Weather Underground never really meant to blow up their friends. They really meant to blow up their enemies. This is largely because they could not achieve significant political influence otherwise. No one really wants to follow the kind of people with whom you associated in your prime. Your crowd has always hovered about a half a step above Charles Manson. And your crowd is only slightly better groomed.

It should be self-evident that no one really deserves to follow you when you board a plane in an American airport. It makes good sense that you should board dead last. Nonetheless, you seem to question why our military are allowed to board before teachers like you board. The answer is simple, Bill. But, fearing you may still miss the point, I’ll print it in big, bold letters:

Soldiers bomb our foreign enemies. You, on the other hand, bomb your fellow citizens. And the teaching profession still defends you and embraces you.

I hope this helps you better understand the situation. Jackass!


Mike S. Adams

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Mike S. Adams was born in Columbus, Mississippi on October 30, 1964. While a student at Clear Lake High School in Houston, TX, his team won the state 5A soccer championship. Mike Adams graduated from C.L.H.S. in 1983 with a 1.8 GPA. Mike Adams was ranked 734 among a class of 740, largely as a result of flunking English all four years of high school. After obtaining an Associate's degree in psychology from San Jacinto College, Mike Adams moved on to Mississippi State University where he joined the Sigma Chi Fraternity. While living in the fraternity house, his GPA rose to 3.4, allowing him to finish his B.A., and then to pursue a Master's in Psychology. In 1990, Mike Adams turned down a chance to pursue a PhD in psychology from the University of Georgia, opting instead to remain at Mississippi State to study Sociology/Criminology. This decision was made entirely on the basis of his reluctance to quit his night job as member of a musical duo. Playing music in bars and at fraternity parties and weddings financed his education. Mike Adams also played for free beer. . Upon getting his doctorate in 1993, Adams, then an atheist and a Democrat, was hired by UNC-Wilmington to teach in the criminal justice program. A few years later, Adams abandoned his atheism and also became a Republican. He also nearly abandoned teaching when he took a one-year leave of absence to study law at UNC-Chapel Hill in 1998. After returning to teach at UNC-Wilmington, Adams won the Faculty Member of the Year award (issued by the Office of the Dean of Students) for the second time in 2000. . After his involvement in a well publicized free speech controversy in the wake of the 911 terror attacks, Adams became a vocal critic of the diversity movement in academia. After making appearances on shows like Hannity and Colmes, the O'Reilly Factor, and Scarborough Country, Adams was asked to write a column for . Today Mike Adams enjoys the privilege of expressing himself both as a teacher and a writer. Mike Adams is also an avid hunter and reader of classic literature. Mike Adams published his first book, Welcome to the Ivory Tower of Babel, in 2004. His second book, Feminists Say the Darndest Things: A Politically Incorrect Professor Confronts "Womyn" On Campus, was published in 2008.