You’ve heard of “new math”?  Bet you’ve never heard of “union-math” as calculated on those newfangled “working family” calculator thingamajigs (made in Cuba!).

Vancouver Province newspaper letter to the editor, May 9 2004

…And I love my job and I deserve my wage.  I have swallowed my 14 per cent wage reduction, and so has my husband.  Sorry if I sounded bitter, but that’s almost a 30 per cent wage reduction for my family.

Wow. The good news is that this woman doesn’t work for a bank or a pharmaceutical company.  The bad news is that she’s a Hospital Employees Union member, and works at a hospital in British Columbia, Canada.  Let’s hope she doesn’t work in the proctology department.

This union-math is really different than the other kind of math—you know, the kind that’s right.  But alas, this explains the appeal of the left, and why union negotiations drag on for so long and the union members are so ticked-off all the time.

And what union do newspaper editors belong to… or do they just have a sense of humor?  Oh well at least they do a spell-check.

Let’s sit in on union-math class for a bit:

OK class, now if your family consisted of 5 people, and each one got a 20 percent cut in pay, then your family income would drop by 100 percent.  You’d be making zero dollars as a family.  This is what you call “the man really stickin’ it to ya”.  If you each got a 25 percent cut in pay, then instead of paychecks, you’d be getting a bill to pay your employer.  That’s why they invented the strike.  Let’s say it together:  Strike.

And let’s not forget yesterday’s lessons: Yale and Harvard graduate and President of the United States George Bush is a moron.  Again:  moron.